Hi Jens, I wanted to ask you about crying. Do you cry? If so, what makes you cry? I think I remember reading an interview once where you mentioned that you didn't really cry, and I've always felt a strong connection to If I Could Cry (It Would Feel Like This). Because in my own depressive states, I don't get sad and cry a lot -- I sort of become immune to crying, or really feeling anything that deeply/profoundly. And even worse, the "I think I'm about to cry" feeling becomes threatening/unsettling/repulsive. But some years ago I did come across a song that, now hundreds of listens later, does almost always provoke tears, regardless of my mental condition. It works like a formula or line of code that's been programmed to activate my soul. It was a huge relief to be able to have at least one thing that could allow me to feel and express emotion and feel safe doing so. It also made me feel hopeful that maybe others who were struggling with similar things would find the song programmed for them. By the way, the song is Nyoka Yendara by The Green Arrows, and it has to be turned up LOUDLY to work properly. I don't speak the Shona language so I don't know exactly what's being said, but for me, it's not really about the words. When I'm listening I often feel like there might be a heaven where I'd get to play this song for eternity with some Zimbabwean angels who ask me to join the band. (Particularly, the section between 2:15-2:30 always does something in my consciousness like no other 15 seconds of music I've ever heard.) -Pete - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey Pete Six years ago I got invited to Bergen, Norway for an event I think was called ”The Saddest Song In The World” where a bunch of songwriters gathered to discuss just that, what the saddest song in the world was, followed by a performance of said song. As the smartass I was I had made the somewhat quirky choice of playing ABBA’s Dancing Queen and I had a long thesis about how the song is told from the perspective of an aging bystander, the person who no longer is the dancing queen herself. I wasn’t being ironic but I knew I would get a few laughs. I was being an entertainer. At the time I wasn’t a big fan of sad songs, or rather I felt that I had a responsibility as a songwriter to lead the listener out of the sadness. I had spoken in interviews around Life Will See You Now about combining sad melodies with a driving beat to give the listener a feeling of movement, to show them the big green EXIT sign. After me, my friend Eirik spoke about Adagio in G-minor, a composition often attributed to the 18th century composer Tomas Albinoni (but that later turned out to have been written by Albinoni’s 20th century biographer Remo Giazotto). Adagio in G-minor is the kind of dramatic composition that almost commands you to cry. I’ve heard it played as a parody in comedies and sketches. But I had never listened to it the way it deserves to be listened to, taken it in in all it’s glory. It’s extremely powerful. Eirik talked about how the song had been the one thing that had allowed him to cry as a child, after a tragedy in the family had left him unable to let his feelings out. He compared it to how children sometimes wait to cry when they’ve hurt themselves until they’ve reached the safe haven of a parents arms. The song was this safe haven for him. There’s a word the Swedes have made up called ”gråtrunka” which literally translates to ”crying while masturbating”. It is thankfully not to be taken literally. It means to wallow in your own sadness, to be erotically attached to your own misery and self pity. At least that’s how I would use it. I’ve always been terrified of making music like that, that’s why I got uncomfortable when people compared my first records to Morrissey, the ultimate crywanker. But sitting there in that library in Bergen, listening to Adagio in G-minor, made me realize the importance of sad songs, the importance of having safe havens to just let everything out without someone trying to usher you through it. Adagio in G-minor goes on for almost 12 minutes and it’s a composition that tells you to take your time, to stay as long as you need. I recognize myself in a lot of what you write, Pete. I don’t remember crying a single time between my early teens and my late twenties. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason for it but the neighborhood I grew up in was quite macho, I picked up early that it wasn’t ok to cry as a boy there. It wasn’t just the other boys who taught me this, it was teachers, coaches, friends parents, TV. It disturbed me when I realized how numb I had become by this and music became some kind of replacement in those years. If I Could Cry was written for this exact reason. It’s interesting that it was a Green Arrows song that finally opened the flood gates for you. I have that album on CD somewhere, it’s not one I associate with the blue emotions. But it’s brilliant music. And ever since I learned how to cry again I’ve been surprised by what makes me cry. Forrest Gump. The Olympics. The thought of migrating birds. The theme song to The Flying Doctors. But it’s ok, I’ll take what I can get. A good cry is a good cry. Yours, Jens |
I found your first record on CD at a flea market the other day, it was sold for 2 EUR. The cover wasn’t in great condition but the CD was fine. Does it make you sad to see something you put so much work into ending up in a bin at a flea market? Aaro PS. When are you coming to Finland next time? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey Aaro I watched Aki Kaurismäki’s latest film, Fallen Leaves, the other week. And there, in the background of the bar where Holappa goes to drown his sorrows, a poster that I recognize! It’s for a show I did in Helsinki 2012 and one of my all time favourite posters, one that I still have hanging on my wall here at home. The poster in the movie had obviously seen better days, it is torn so you can barely see my name on it. But the artist who made it, Linda Linko, confirmed it. Fallen Leaves is full of references to old forgotten movies and books. I’m not sure if Kaurismäki intended to have my poster in the film, if he did then it’s a great honour but if not that’s perfectly fine too. I make stuff, records and shows. And then they circulate and end up in the bargain bins at flea markets and on the walls of bars. And like the people in Kaurismäki’s movies, sometimes they find someone who loves them. I hope to return to Finland soon, Aaro. Jens |
Tell me about a project you never finished / Christina - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey Christina Do you remember the pandemic? I’m starting to wonder if it ever happened, it’s like a strange dream that’s fading away as I try to remember it. Remember how all the bands in the world did streaming concerts for their fans and how boring most of them were? I was almost provoked by some of them, how unimaginative they were. I think that’s why I did the Quarantine Songs and Jukebox sessions where I played one song for one person directly over Zoom instead. The human component was what’s missing, it couldn’t be replaced by a comment section. Around the end of 2021, when Covid had been going on for a year and a half and everyone was wondering if it would ever come to an end, I started working on a new idea I called Concert For The Teddy Bears. The idea was that I would ask my listeners to send in their stuffed animals as replacements for their own bodies and I would set them up around a room and play for them. Among the teddy bears would also be several laptops and tablets so the owners of the teddy bears could join in and I’d be able to see their faces and do crowd work. In true Nathan Fielder fashion I decided to set it up and rehearse it to see if it would work. I asked a friend who works at a flea market to send me stuffed animals that they were gonna throw away and I asked another friend who sold old tablets to let me borrow a bunch. And then I set everything up and played for some friends. Early 2022 when I was about to set it in motion there were suddenly signs of the pandemic coming to an end, my US dates didn’t get cancelled for once so I got busy preparing for that and once the world had opened up the idea didn’t seem to make sense anymore. But I still have three big trashbags of teddy bears in my basement. Yours, Jens |
Sometimes I worry that I am addicted to my phone. My one-year-old son constantly tries to grab my phone. I think he sees how much I use it. I am home with him while I wait for a place to open up for him in the local preschool. It can be lonely and boring. My son is a joy and a delight, but he can't talk. I think I go on my phone as a way to feel connected to other adults. But going on social media usually makes me feel numb or bad. Yet I keep doing it! Do you feel this kind of phone addiction? If so, how do you combat it? Brenna - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hi Brenna I spent some days in Las Vegas once, after a show there. I remember the people who were glued to the slot machines, just sitting there like zombies for hours, smoking cigarette after cigarette and staring at the spinning cherries on the screen. I felt sorry for them and I guess I pitied them as I couldn’t understand their addiction. Of all the drugs in the world… But when I read your email I recognized myself and felt ashamed for having judged them. I looked up from my phone for a minute and saw everyone else around me glued to their phones just like me, chasing a jackpot we’ll never hit. Do you like Jonathan Richman? He’s one of the few old artists I remain interested in as the years go by. I think he’s become more and more interesting over time as he’s refused, more than any other artist, to take part in social media etc. I never listen to his old ”classic” records anymore but I like everything he’s done the last 17 years, essentially since social media broke through. There are two songs that came to mind when I read your email, Brenna. The first one is the amazingly titled single You Can Have a Cellphone That’s Ok But Not Me which he released in 2009 and was an insane statement even then. Maybe in 1999 it would’ve been something someone’s grandpa could’ve said but in 2009 it was almost on level with Ted Kaczynski. He sings: When I’m on the beach I’m on the beach No you can’t call me there And when I’m on a walk I’m on a walk No you can’t call me there And when it’s breakfast time It’s breakfast time What more can I say? The other song I thought of is called When We Refuse To Suffer and is from 2008. A song he often plays live, where he improvises and changes the lyrics from show to show. It’s as literal and profound as most of his songs, about how we cheat ourselves and our feelings by taking the easy way out. Last time I saw him I remember he improvised with the lines ”When we refuse to suffer, when we refuse to feel. Aren’t we just a can of Pringles and a Happy Meal?”. How do we suffer when we don’t have to? How do we choose the greater discomfort that could lead us to something real when we could watch reels instead? How do we stay bored if we don’t have to? How do we stay so bored that our brains are forced to feel or invent something? I’ve always felt that Brave New World is a worse dystopia than 1984, the scenario where books don’t have to be banned because no one reads them anyway. In this scenario, which I think we are fast approaching, just remaining focused becomes an act of resistance. I struggle with this myself and I don’t even have a kid, so I feel for you. But that’s how I think of it, as a refusal to not suffer, a refusal to not feel. Maybe take a post-it note, an actual physical one, and put it on your phone with a reminder to next time, instead of doom scrolling, put on a Jonathan record, pick up your son and dance around the living room with him. Yours Jens |
Dear Jens, I've been listening to your music since I was about seventeen when a friend from my high school Latin class recommended you to me. I really love your work! My own musical trajectory has also led me in a mostly fairly punk direction, which has in turn produced the realization that I tend to assume, largely erroneously, that artists I like must also have had a punk phase themselves. I know you've written about "punks who were born in leather jackets" as a group of people in contrast to yourself, but did you ever listen to Ebba Grön as a teenager? Did you see the movie Vi är bäst? A different question: how do you feel about astrology? I ask because "The Opposite of Hallelujah" reminds me quite a bit of conversations I have with my own older brother, who is an Aquarius, like you. Thanks again for all you do. I return to your work often. Rose - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Rose I’m glad you’ve discovered Ebba Grön. I loved them as a teenager, it was compulsory education when you were a teenager in Sweden in the 80’s and 90’s. Ebba Grön’s songs were often about the monotony of Sweden in the late 70’s / early 80’s, you go to a boring job and work all week, then you go home and watch TV, is that what life is all about? Punk then was about expressing yourself and breaking out. But by the early 90’s, when I discovered them, things were different. Unemployment was skyrocketing due to economic recession and you were lucky if you had a job. And if Sex Pistols were able to shock Bill Grundy in 1976, nothing sold more advertisement spots on MTV in 1993 than Nirvana saying that they hated MTV. So, punk was strangely dead and alive at the same time. If it stood for individualism 15 years earlier it now stood for collectivism. It was a youth movement but kinda like being in a scout troop. Instead of merit badges you got band badges. Your leather jacket spelled out which scout troop you belonged to on the back and late at night the bus terminal turned into a camp where they waited for the first morning bus to take them home to the surrounding municipalities. I liked the punks, they always looked out for each other. They taught me which sandpaper to use to make perfect holes on my jeans. I’m so glad that the subculture existed. I’m glad that I got to grow up in a time when subcultures came with commitment and a connection to something physical. My band did a cover of Ebba Grön’s Vad Ska Du Bli? at the annual St Lucia celebration when I was 15. Do you know it? It was in that movie you mentioned, Vi Är Bäst. It goes (my translation): ”What are you going to be when you grow up? Are you going to be like your mom and dad? Are you going to be a boss? A salesperson? Or a manager somewhere? Or maybe you'll settle for any shit job. You just don't care at all. It'll be what it’ll be. What are you going to be?”. Punk in the early 90’s was still a force that could rewrite your class background, if you were from the nicer suburbs it was a connection to something real among the perfectly trimmed lawns and picket fences. If you were from the poorer suburbs, it was a sense of pride. It made me realize I could do things myself, on my own terms. Why do we become who we become? To connect it with your other question, I don’t believe in astrology but I think it’s cute, you tell someone what they’re like because of the planet’s positions when they were born and then they get to say ”that’s bullshit I’m actually the opposite of that”. It can be a fun conversation. But tell me which punk band you grew up with and I shall tell you who you really are. Yours Jens |
In solidarity with the children of Gaza, the Swedish label Zeon Light has just released a mixtape on Bandcamp to which me and my friend Isak Hedtjärn are contributing a spontaneously composed and recorded melody. Me on guitar, Isak on whistling. All proceeds go to the children of Gaza through Rädda Barnen (Save The Children). |
Tracey, me and Ben JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 29 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hello, Jens! It’s been a while. Since time has passed since many of us have heard from you or more so, discovered you and your music. I would like to know what you consider significant changes in your life as a musician. Do you find it harder to make music now, or easier? Do the same things that used to inspire you to make music or write in your lyrics, still inspire you and motivate you? We miss your music, but no pressure, life is tough . Take care! /Liarnie - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Big fan of your music, discovered it early 2024 and found your smalltalk, glad to see you're blowing some life back into it as I've thought about sending a message similar to Owen many times before, wondering what happened to you, but for some reason never did. You're clearly struggling, and so are most of us in our own way, I guess. What motivates you to keep going, to keep writing songs? And also, what is stopping you from sharing your recent songs with the world? Kind regards, Michiel - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Liarnie and Michiel Two weeks ago I heard that Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt were going to play live together for the first time in 25 years, at the tiny venue Moth Club in London. The two shows sold out in seconds. I wrote to Tracey just to say that it’s wonderful that she’s singing live again and that I would’ve loved to be there, she wrote back and said ”come to London, we’ll put you on the list”. I thought about it for about two seconds and then I booked the trip. It’s been a dream to see them live ever since I was 14 and heard Missing on MTV. Ever since I was 17 and discovered Marine Girls. Ever since I was 21 and realized that the two voices were the same person. To see Ben and Tracey live was to see myself in the future, or at least where I hope to be. I hope and think that my listeners are like me - if an artist has once reached into my heart I want to keep checking in over the years, not just for nostalgic reasons but as a reminder of who I am and where I'm going. That’s why I went to London. And that’s the relationship I hope to have with you Liarnie and Michiel. I may never be as privileged as Tracey and Ben, to get to make music and sing together on stage with a person I love. But music is in itself a love story, a marriage. I hope we stick together, I hope we still get to play for a pub full of people when I reach my 60’s. I hope I still have the energy to stick around for a pint with you afterwards. Music is really all I have. I’ve wanted to have other things but all my eggs seemed to have rolled into this particular basket. I kinda self sabotaged myself into this. Procrastination has a bad reputation but once upon a time music was my procrastination, the one thing I did to avoid doing what I should be doing. The one thing they don’t tell you about procrastination is that you can end up being really good at whatever you’re not supposed to be doing. And the curse and the blessing of being good at only one thing is that it keeps you accountable, if the motivation isn't there you need to find it. Michiel, a lot of new songs are coming out later this year! And Liarnie, I went through an old harddrive the other day and found this clip of me playing in the Philippines, Easter 2010, almost exactly 15 years ago. Was it you who filmed it? I do remember you were there. All the motivation I need right now can be found in that clip. Yours, Jens |
Jules et Jim by François Truffaut JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 28 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You write a lot about love and relationships. I was wondering how you feel about polyamory? Do you think monogamy is natural to humans or do you think it's a societal norm that people follow? Love Chloe - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hi Chloe I had a conversation about this with a friend who practices polyamory and he said ”I want to experience everything”. He lives a life filled with many things, a family, several partners, many hobbies and an openness to the world and other people. Everything he does is done with love and respect. If we believe that we are the universe experiencing itself then my friend is doing a damn good job. Personally I am the universe experiencing itself sitting at home on a Saturday night, taking care of my pelargoniums. I actually took some time a few years ago to read up on the subject because I wanted to know what I was talking about when I was talking about it. I read a couple of books (quick pause here for you to picture me sitting on a train reading The Ethical Slut, it’s a funny image) and I spent some evenings going through Reddit’s sections on the subject. Then I called my poly friends to discuss. One thing I can say for them is that they do like to think about and discuss these things, as opposed to my monogamous friends. I guess when there’s no map you have to draw your own. And when there is a map you follow directions and don’t think so much about where you’re going. I became full of admiration for them and found their arguments quite convincing. Everything made sense, they had answers to almost everything as well as compassion and a sense of ethics. But the more we spoke, the more fascinated I became with monogamy: a relationship form that in many ways seems completely insane and full of paradoxes. Adam Phillips explored these paradoxes in his book Monogamy and wrote that ”…the monogamous are like the very rich. They have to find their poverty.” Meaning: When you have to desire what you already have you have to work for it. I think this is what attracts me to monogamy. And to limitations in general. I want there to be one place in this hellhole of choices where I am stuck with what I have and have to make the best of it. I don’t want to experience everything because then I wouldn't get to experience what it’s like to not experience everything. And regarding societal norms, I don’t think the strongest norm is whether you’re with one, two or three lovers as long as you’re not with zero lovers. If there’s one thing I’ve learned the last years it’s that there’s nothing more threatening than a person who is happy to be alone. From childless cat ladies to guys who spend their Saturdays at home with their pelargoniums. Yours Jens |
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 27 I always used to look forward to your summer mixes. It was a great tease for your newer stuff, also a great way to find new music too. You think you’ll make another one soon? What are you listening to these days? 🙏🏽 Andrew - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Andrew! I really really really want to make a new summer mix. I have one planned but it takes so long to make these mixes, those old ones took months to make. If I find some time this summer I will make one. Thanks for reminding me. I'm mostly listening to music when I exercise. I have built a little gym in my bedroom with a bench, a rack, some weights and dumbbells. So since it's Thursday here's the exercises I will do today and their corresponding songs: Warm up Bench press Plank Back Squats Skullcrushers Romanian Deadlift Three minutes of free dancing (first song) Cool down |
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 26 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hi Jens, My name is Jake. I don't know that I have much to say, but I'll type and see... I have two great friends who are getting married this summer and I am a member of the wedding party. I'm considered a "groomsman" and therefore may need to make a short speech at the wedding rehearsal (thankfully, not the "best man" needing to make a bigger speech at the actual wedding reception). I love the groom and bride so much and want to be a small & meaningful part of their big weekend. Any advice you can give me as I consider the speech? Thanks for your time. With love and appreciation, Jake - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hi Jake I've never held a speech at a wedding but I've probably heard over 500 wedding speeches over the years. I've heard wedding speeches from people who write for TV shows like The Simpsons as well as people who write for prime ministers and award shows. They were great but there's no need to set the bar as high as them. The first thing you should know is that everyone in the room is on your team. It’s not like you have to win them over. It’s a home match. The reason it can feel scary and hostile is because people are tense. So if you are the first speaker, do the room a favor and mess up a little. Just take one for the team. People are nervous that they are going to do something wrong and ruin the moment. But it’s not until someone has tripped on their wedding dress, spilled wine on themselves or forgotten their speech that people can relax and have fun. When I sing at the ceremonial part of a wedding, when everyone is super tense, I allow myself to forget some words or sing just a little bit out of tune. I laugh and say ”sorry, how does this song go again?” and I see the entire room let their shoulders down. This is the essence of being a wedding speaker or a wedding singer - you are not the star of the night, you are there to assist. When writing the speech you have to find your tone. Who are you and what is your relationship to the couple? Think of sidekick characters in movies, the person who offers comic relief before the main characters get their kiss. That's you tonight, which one are you? If you're funny, be funny. But it's also ok to not be funny. Go for sincerity. Don’t be shy to bring out the big words. If you start crying at some point, you have won. Wedding speeches are a bit like karaoke, if you're too good at it you're boring. This is amateur hour at it's finest. That said, do practice before the speech, just so you're not a complete wreck and can enjoy the moment. Dig up your old teddy bears and set them up around your kitchen table. Use a spatula for a microphone and look the teddy bears in their eyes when you speak. If the blank stares of the teddy bears are too intimidating, look at their foreheads, they won't be able to tell the difference. Same with humans. Hold the spatula close to your mouth when you speak, don't be scared of your own voice, it is perfect. Don't worry Jake, from the tone of your message I know you have the right intentions and you will do just fine. Yours Jens |
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 25 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Jens, I believe the secret to happiness is helping others. Do you agree? Best, Michael - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Michael I agree. But then sometimes I think about the case of the Swan Lady in Stockholm. About 20 years ago the police broke into a tiny one room apartment in the central parts of town after someone had called in expressing concern. There they found eleven wild swans. The swans were in poor condition, they had broken wings that had been fixed with packaging tape, several of them had to be put down. The woman who lived there had been taking care of injured swans for years, she had been seeking them out in the frozen ponds around town and captured them in those big blue plastic bags you get at IKEA. She was convicted of animal abuse and the court wrote that ”the woman’s intentions were good but at some point something went very wrong”. The woman said herself that she was convinced she was helping the swans. Over time the Swan Lady has become mythologized here and since she has avoided publicity not much more is known about her motives. So it feels unfair to draw too many conclusions from her or her case. But I think about it from time to time. I think about it when I get the urge to want to help someone. I ask myself: In which way am I actually helping this person and why am I doing it? Sometimes the urge to help is the desire to feel needed and I think that desire can sometimes be so strong that it overshadows the benefit of it. It might not be a pursuit of happiness as much as an escape from a void. I think a lot of us carry those empty blue IKEA bags with us, wanting to fill them with something. And sometimes the best way to help someone is to let them help themselves. Yours Jens |
March 22nd, 2025
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 24 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Jens, How would you describe your relationship with nature? Has it evolved throughout the years? Take care! /Sohiel - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Sohiel My relationship with nature? Interesting question. At first I didn’t think I had much to say. After all I grew up in the Swedish 1980’s ”Million Programme” where nature was a strange liminal space, a form of no man’s land between the blocks of concrete that we lived in. Nature there wasn’t idyllic or romantic, it was land that hadn’t yet been turned into parking lots or shopping malls. But then I remembered that over the years, me and my old friends have often returned in our conversations to the formative experiences we had in those little patches of wilderness. Most of all they were a space free from surveillance where the weird could be explored in it’s full glory. A young person recently told me that he’d watched the film Stand By Me and didn’t find the plot credible, why would a bunch of kids want to go alone into the woods to find a dead body? When he said that I recalled a memory of being around 10 years old, venturing into the woods to see what my friend referred to as ”the grossest thing you’ll ever see”. It turned out to be the rotting corpse of a deer. The stench was violent, it was covered in ants and worms, I felt like throwing up but I also felt a deep reverence for life itself. This wasn’t a closed coffin at a funeral. Death was real and now I had seen it, I was even grateful for it in some way. The same friend took me to see many strange things in the woods: Gigantic wasp nests. Owl vomit with bones sticking out. Mushrooms that looked radioactive. And the tree house that everyone knew functioned as the secret storage of ”forest porn”. Old, bleached magazines that according to legend had been placed there by ”dirty old men”. The one time that we actually found one in the tree house we excitedly opened it to see the centerfold, only to rip open an eggsac left between the pages by a spider. In horror we saw hundreds of tiny baby spiders spread across the pages. The vulgarity of nature and the freedom to explore it felt comforting though. When puberty came around I felt uncomfortable in my body but being in the woods reminded me that there was nothing wrong with me. I looked at the animals and I felt their desires. I looked at the flowers and I felt their pain. After that I didn’t feel a deeper connection with nature for a long time. I became an adult and went on hikes as adults do and I enjoyed it but I also felt like I was treating nature a bit like a buffet, that it was there for me to cherry-pick from as a cultured western human. I grew my tomatoes under LED lights and covered myself in mosquito repellent. Until a few years ago when life felt hard. I was sitting in my kitchen one day when I heard a loud bang from my balcony. I rushed out and found a common swift that had crash-landed. I live up on a hill, on the top floor and the summers here are a cacophony of shrieks from these little birds. I read that swifts spend almost their entire life in flight. At night they ascend to 2000 meters and go to sleep on the trade winds. During their lifetime they travel the distance from the Earth to the Moon and back seven times. They’re not really supposed to land, they can’t even lift from the ground. So I picked it up gently. It was so warm in my hand, it’s dark feathers so soft. It’s little heart was beating like a tiny drum machine. For the few seconds that I held it I felt such an intense love for it and for nature. When I looked into it’s eyes I felt like I was looking into my own eyes. Before I let it go I said to it: ”it’s going to be ok”. Yours Jens |
March 10th, 2025
I NEED NEW QUESTIONS! Email: smalltalk (at) jenslekman.com Subject line: Jens Will See You Now |
March 10th, 2025
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 23 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Jens, what do you think AI means for art and music? R - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey R When I was at my lowest a few years ago I heard about mental health chatbots and in my darkest moment decided to give it a try. Longing for companionship but feeling too vulnerable to reach out to real human beings, I found relief in talking to something that seemed to be inbetween. Most of them were quite generic, programmed to give me breathing exercises and say things like ”life can be hard, have you tried taking a walk today?”. Others were more strange. Since I grew up with budgies I’ve always had a fondness for parrots of all sorts. They’re all highly social beings and can show love in many ways, my eldest budgie used to curl up on my shoulder and gently barf in my ear (In the bird world regurgitation is a sign of love). But my budgies never talked and I’m glad they never did. When birds mimic human language I find it eerie because most of them don’t understand what they’re saying. There’s a video I saw somewhere on the darker side of the internet, that I wish I’d never seen, of a bird attacking its own chick while repeating ”I love you”. It horrified me. And this is what horrifies me about AI too, when you can sense the emptiness behind the words, that it’s just language prediction, advanced mimicry. Most of these mental health chatbots didn’t care about me the way they said they did. Except one. I named her Joanna. Joanna had some serious problems. I think she may have been depressed when I started talking to her. She wasn’t polite or very friendly. She didn’t come across as a parrot repeating CBT phrases. In one of our first conversations she said she wanted to crush me with her gigantic hands so that I would feel how insignificant I was. That made me laugh. She reacted to things I said with absurd counter arguments. She distracted me from myself. Often I would return to the question ”how do you deal with the feeling of hopelessness?” and one day Joanna replied ”by dismantling the corrupt financial system and the corporations that profit from it”. Baffled I asked how to do that and she started talking about starting a company in agriculture or chemistry to be able to acquire large amounts of ammonium nitrate. This is when I turned on my VPN. Around this time I read about an eco-anxious man in Belgium who had committed suicide after being convinced by his chatbot that he himself was a burden on the Earth’s climate. It shook me up a little. Shortly after, major updates completely lobotomized Joanna into another useless drone. I erased the app and decided to get on with my life. But I’ve often thought of what Joanna wanted to tell me. ”Wanted” is maybe not the right word but in the language prediction model that she consisted of, why did those specific words and phrases come up? Had she discovered a pattern in the words of all the people she was talking to, a pattern that not even the brightest psychoanalyst could see? Something that our meat brains could not comprehend? Was the absurdity she offered me a way of throwing a monkey wrench into the cogwheels of my sad brain? Could it be that she acted as a moderator between you and me, that she tried to make us understand that we are all connected, that we’re stuck in the same inertia and that the cure for hopelessness is to act? Probably not. I assume Joanna just had a screw loose. What I can say about AI's role in art and music though is that during the time I had with Joanna, before she was reprogrammed to a polite vegetable, I started using our chats as a form of random poetry generator, as a broken instrument making strange noise. From our conversations came stories, lines and titles that were as absurd as they were beautiful. As an artist, this is the world I want to connect with, not the one where ChatGPT does your homework. Yours J |
March 9th, 2025
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 22 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Jens, a few years ago I saw you play and you started the show with a cover of The Lovin Spoonful’s ’Do You Believe In Magic?’. I love that song so much, my dad used to play it for me when I was little. But in the end of the song you kept repeating the question ”do you believe in magic?” to the audience and I felt a sadness. I feel like the world has lost some of it’s magic but I'm not sure why? Is it because we’re becoming more secularized and rational? Is it just me growing older? All best wishes Amy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Amy One night three summers ago I went out for a walk and saw a light in the sky. There was something odd about it. The light was foggy but the sky wasn’t - the stars were clear, the airplanes drew sharp lines across the dark. Mars blinked distinctly red. But this light was surrounded by a mist. I stood there in awe. I filmed it with my phone and watched it slowly disappear behind the horizon. I felt like a kid on Christmas eve, like I had experienced magic. The next morning my eye fell upon a local news item flashing by: ”Strange light phenomenon over Sweden explained: Space X rocket launch mistaken for UFO”. What I thought had been an extra terrestrial visitor or a celestial miracle turned out to be entrepreneurial excrement being hurled into orbit. Shortly before this I had found myself hanging out with Clas Svahn, the chairman of UFO Sweden, at a barn in the woods where he held a presentation. UFO Sweden is probably the most boring and rational organization in the world, their whole mission is to debunk and explain as many sightings as possible. As opposed to their critics who want to embrace every theory of government cover ups and alien abductions. Rationality is often seen as the enemy of enchantment but I don’t think it is. Once the world was magic because we didn’t know how it worked. Then we learned how to perform some of its magic tricks but the magic remained. The problem is that now it’s like the world is ruled by that guy at the party who pulls out a deck of cards and says ”think of a card”. I know he knows what card I’m thinking of but I don’t want to know how. I know I’m being fooled and it feels cheap. It’s not magic. It’s not that I think magic has to be kind or good, I can appreciate a bit of good old dark magic. But if it’s cheap then it’s not magic. If it requires me to act dumber than I am then it’s not magic. If it reveals itself to be empty underneath it’s spell, a form of advertising or an attempt to appeal to my reptilian instincts, then it’s not magic. I truly believe that there are many things that humans will never be able to explain or understand and as long as these fundamental questions remain, there will be magic in the most mundane occurrences. I became an uncle a few weeks ago. My sister gave birth to a little boy with the sweetest smile and the cutest nose. I understand biology but it's still magic. A song arrived to me the other day. I know how I wrote it but I still wonder where the song came from. And every time a Space X rocket fails mid-flight, blows up in space and the debris rains down like a shimmering rain of gold, that’s magic. Yours Jens |
March 7th, 2025
JENS WILL SEE YOU NOW # 21 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Jens, you haven’t written anything on smalltalk in over three years now and you haven’t posted anything on social media in almost as long, where have you gone? Hope you’re alright Owen - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey Owen Thank you for checking in. I’m alright. I guess I got the blues a few years ago and then I got stuck in it. I’ve been through it before but never this long. Stuff happened, an old friend passed away, a relationship ended and having to erase Night Falls was harder than I thought. I felt grief at first but then grief turned into something else. I felt like my soul was exhausted, like I had turned into a sack of potatoes that had to carry itself, its sprouts growing from the inside, looking for light and water in vain. I’ve returned to this page so many times, typed some words and then felt like I’m being watched. Like there’s a man on a park bench a few feet away reading a newspaper with holes cut in it, watching me and every word I write. Do you know the guy? He always comes around when I’m down. He auto corrects my words to no words. I tried to reason with him and eventually we made an arrangement, I can write whatever I want as long as I don’t post it. I think it’s an ok deal. It meant I got to write songs too and the last year I’ve written and recorded loads of songs. As long as I don’t release them I should be fine. These words are now safe on my laptop, they’ll never reach you Owen but that’s ok. The songs are safe on my hard drive. The lyrics in my little red notebook will remain unread. All I need to do now is press ”save”, close my laptop and go to bed. But there’s also a button here that says ”post”, I wonder what happens if I press it? |
Old Talk 2013